Audio audio vision bates
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He specializes in American literature and loves Michel Foucault. He identifies as bisexual and is married with two children. Because he shared his story, he was labeled a homophobe and became the target of audio audio vision bates silencing campaign that worked to keep him off the air and off college campuses.
The Stream: You knew that you were different and that your family was different. He was a human rights audio audio vision bates who was raised by two women. When he was interviewed in the midst of all the upheavals in France over gay marriage, he introduced the topic of the UN Declaration of the Rights of the Child. His use of human rights language totally shifted my focus. A relationship with my father is a long-recognized human right. That was a major change in my thinking, and I have to say, the American family movement really owes that insight to the French.
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How does something that sounds reasonable in the abstract — letting two people who love and support each other have a family — become a social disaster in the concrete particulars of lived experience? Robert Oscar Lopez: I think you are hitting on a basic trend we audio audio vision bates whenever people over-invest in a theory and get ahead of themselves.
There were groups like the American Sociological Association that declared, as long as ten years ago, that there was no difference between having two dads and a mom and a dad or two moms. They had heard next to nothing from grown children of gays COGs talking objectively and analytically about their own experience. Strangely enough, the social sciences abandoned the entire model of empiricism for a skewed and twisted rationalism. Imagine a poor distortion of Plato — you entrust a guardian class with the power Plato imagined in Republic, but you never teach the Philosopher King philosophy.
And then you give no credence to any kind of truthful assessment of reality in the Aristotelian sense at all. It was destined to backfire, which is what happened.
The Stream: As a man raised by lesbian women who, you are quick to point out, loved and cared for you but could not provide the fathering you needed, has that affected the way you care for your own children? Robert Oscar Lopez: Like most parents, I take childcare audio audio vision bates day at a time. I try to make sure that we are taking care of the most basic structural things — having Mom and Dad love each other, which is always a way of showing indirectly that they love the children that came from their union.
Sometimes love means saying no, sometimes it means listening, sometimes it means affirming. It all depends.
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But my kids live with their mom and dad, and their mom and dad love each other. Divorce and adultery are NOT an option. The Stream: You discuss your own experience growing up in a gay-parented household that formed naturally your biological mother parented in the s and your observation that everything changed in the 90s with gay couples looking to acquire families.
What changed the audio audio vision bates of gay parenting in that decade, and what changes have you noticed since? It was a heady and exciting time. People felt like the strictures and demands of the earlier decades, audio audio vision bates there was another empire that could destroy us, were all gone. So they went audio audio vision bates a lot of reckless joyrides.
Gay parenting was one of those joyrides. Since then, it has become a massive industry with increasing levels of commodification — sperm, eggs, wombs, babies are for sale and for rent.
Being pro-gay has meant silence — silence about what the risks and costs of this kind of baby-making business are. And that terrifies me. One of the more painful things these testimonies reveal is how little these children have their own masculinity or femininity affirmed and validated — and how traumatic and confusing that is to them, individually.
You also are candid about the pressure put on the children of gays to perform well as a defense against attacks from conservatives who judge them for being the children of gay parents. Knowing both of these things, what can we do to actually love and support children of gay parents? Robert Oscar Lopez: I think it is so important to back away from their political situation.
Let them vocalize what they need to vocalize, whether it matches your politics or not. They have to speak for themselves on their own terms, reach their own conclusions without interference. Everyone wants to own them and tell them how to feel. Restrain yourself from doing that to them. So this might mean showing love and support to the gay couples raising the children, just to minimize the conflict and drama in their lives.
Treat them like people. Robert Oscar Lopez: Yes, it is conservative.
I think every child has a right to their origins, along with their rights to be born free not bought or sold and their right to a mother and father. All these rights go together. It is important to deal with divorce and unethical adoptions at the same time that we deal with gay parenting. All these issues go together.
The Stream: How does the asserted right to have a child become the right to take a child away from its parents — and why are poor women particularly vulnerable? The father is the father, whether society acknowledges his relationship to the child or erases it by issuing a false birth certificate. Men might donate their sperm on a lark because all they do is masturbate while audio audio vision bates porn, ejaculate into a cup, and then dash off.
Egg donors have to take dangerous drugs and undergo extraction surgery. Surrogate moms bond with their gestating baby and their whole bodies are enlisted in the service of bringing the child to childbirth. Their own children see them get pregnant and then give birth — tratamentul viziunii denas then the baby disappears.
They will do it out of economic necessity.
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This makes the situation for them quite precarious. Robert Oscar Lopez: I think we have to remember what slavery was. It was buying and selling people. And all of those things did coincide with most slavery.
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But those things are not endemic to slavery. Slavery was the idea that you owned somebody, that a human being was treated like property. In the first antislavery document in English, it was clear that to sell a person was in a sense audio audio vision bates slay them. To reduce a person to a financial contract is like killing them.
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I think when adoption becomes the buying and selling of children, the buying and selling of human beings, we have to revise our thoughts about our past. Cotton Mather justified the importation of slaves into the Massachusetts Bay Colony, by arguing that they were better off here than in squalor in Africa, that there was a war, and that it was the Africans who sold them to us anyways.
And then at what point do they get out of it? What is the end game?
And is that fair? The Stream: What makes European countries like Belgium and France describe surrogacy as a type of slavery? The kid did not consent to be sold into the power of people who are not his or her parents.
Why are you going to expect that child, for the entire duration of its life, to honor that contract?